Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
