i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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