Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
