I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
