we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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