You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
