HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
