I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
