Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
