Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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