I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
