Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
