Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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