Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
