you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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