no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
