If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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