I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
