so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
