Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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