Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
