is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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