Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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