The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
