My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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