No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
