Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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