The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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