Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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