i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
