Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
