Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
