whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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