His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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