But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
