Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
