Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
