If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just found puke in my bra..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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