idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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