It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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