i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
