and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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