im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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