I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
