I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
