We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
