Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
