So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My ass is underappreciated
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
