remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
