DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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