I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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