do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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