I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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